Frown vs Smile

Whether you are dressed smart, casual, elegant or even scruffy there is always an added beauty when you wear a smile with it. In as much as a smile costs nothinng financially, it can cost a lot emotionally.

Once upon a time I found it very difficult to smile. I did not see the point to it when deep inside I was rather unhappy. Suffering from sickle cell meant I was very weak physically; sometimes a weakness that was usually misunderstood for laziness by those around.

Due to problems with my health, I found myself being alone a lot of the times afterall who wanted to be friends with someone who was too weak to play or do anything active half the time. Paranoia hmm………….. Yes I was rather paranoid. I had so written myself off that I believed that no one would ever want to associate with me because I wasn’t good enough and even discouraged those that tried to reach out simply because I felt if they got to know me they would run a mile - afterall who wants to be seen with someone that limps, is skinny, has spent a good part of their life in hospital etc- well so I thought.

I felt that no one genuinely liked me, not even God. As a result I started hating myself without realising it. The hatred I had for myself caused me to develop an attitude that ‘attack is the best form of defence.’   I would gladly wear a frown just to stop anyone from approaching me. I believed if you can’t approach me then you can’t get to know me and if you don’t know me you can’t judge me. Afterall it’s not my fault I was born this way so why should you judge me for what I did not bring upon myself and I have no control over or the ability to change.

Have you ever travelled a similar journey before or are you currently travelling it now. It will be nice to hear from. My journey ended when I stopped worrying about what others thought and started to look within I noticed that even though I was skinny and I limp, I have beautiful long hair - something I never noticed until I decided to STOP and look within. I began to notice that actually I am a masterpiece a uniquely created being. Gradually the wall I had built around myself began to come down I gave up the frown and chose to wear a smile instead. A cheap yet priceless item that complements any dressing given by the one who created this masterpiece.

 

 

One thought on “Frown vs Smile

  1. This is really deep and touching. I would love to share it if possible on pages like facebook so my friends can read as well.

Leave a Reply to Umoh Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>